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| George Carlinisms *How Come Wrong Numbers Are Never Busy? *Can a Stupid Person Be a Smart Ass? *Do People In Australia Call The Rest Of The World "Up Over?" *Does Killing Time Damage Eternity? *Why Doesn't Tarzan Have a Beard? *Why Is It Called Lipstick If You Can Still Move Your Lips? *Why Is It That Night Falls But Day Breaks? *Why Is The Third Hand On A Watch Called The Second Hand? *Why Is It That When You're Driving And Looking For An Address That You Turn Down The Volume On The Radio? *Why Is Lemon Juice Made With Artificial Flavor and Dishwashing Soap Made With REAL Lemons? *Are Part Time Band Leaders Semi Conductors? *Can You Buy An Entire Chess Set At A Pawn Shop? *Daylight Saving Time - Why Are They Saving It & Where Do They Keep It? *Do Jellyfish Get Gas From Eating Jelly Beans? * Do Pilots Take Crash-Courses? Do You Think That When George Washington Was Asked For An ID, He Whipped Out A Quarter? * Have You Ever Imagined A World With No Hypothetical Situations? * Have You Ever Seen A Toad On A Toadstool? * How Can There Be "Self-Help" Groups? *How Do You Get Off A Non-Stop Flight? *How Do You Write ZERO in Roman Numerals? *How Many Weeks Are There In A Light Year? *If A Jogger Runs At The Speed Of Sound, Can He Still Hear His Walkman? *If Athletes Get Athlete's Foot, Do Astronauts Get Mistle-Toe? *If Barbie Is So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy All Her Friends? *Since Blind People Wear Dark Glasses, Why Don't Deaf People Wear Ear Muffs? *If Cats & Dogs Didn't Have Fur, Would We still Pet Them? *If Space Is A Vacuum, Who Changes The Bags? *If You Can't Drink & Drive, Why Do Bars Have Parking Lots? *If You Jog Backwards, Will You Gain Weight? *If You Take An Oriental Person And Spin Them Around, Do They Become Disoriented? *Why Do Signs That Say "Slow Children" Have A Picture Of A Child Running? *Why Do They Call It Chili If It's Hot? *Why Do We Sing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame When We're Already There? *What Is The Timer Of Day With The Slowest Traffic Called? |
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